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Nothing stuns me more than seeing a minivan driver speed up behind me at warp speed only to zoom off into the distance because, alas, I am driving too slowly.

But the truth is I’m not driving slowly. I’m riding steadily between 70-80 miles per hour. Or maybe I’m driving on the street, passed a school let’s say. The speed limit: 25, maybe 35 miles per hour. Person in the minivan, most likely picking up children from said school is driving 45 to 50 miles per hour. Now I don’t know what it is about driving a minivan that makes people feel like they are in a Ferrari or Maserati. I don’t know if once you step into a minivan you transform into a Formula 1 race car driver, but what I do recognize is that minivan drivers have a need for speed and are a mission to achieve said speed at all costs. It’s like they must maintain a high-speed or something terrible will happen. Kind of like in the movie Speed.  It seems like they are driving sooo fast down the street, only to get to the stop sign before me. Boop! Don’t you look silly! I have never seen so many women who can barely see over the steering wheel dodge through the Los Angeles streets the minivan driving women do. Are you extremely behind schedule, or what? If it’s that serious, I’ll pay the extra $5 per 15 minute late charge at the day care. I mean really. Where are you going that you have to drive that fast? Play dates are important, but not that important. The majority of the offenders are male drivers. I get it dude. You’re driving a minivan. You feel some kind of way about it. I feel you bro. But that does not mean you need to burn rubber on the freeway to make up for the lack in cool points. You could have haggled with your wife about getting a hybrid SUV, but you didn’t. You didn’t. So drive that minivan with pride sir and stop riding my bumper.

 

Is there a particular kind of driver that just makes you grind your teeth? Share it in the comments below. It’s help relieve some of that stress.

 

xoxo, Panda